Eggscuse Me?!

When it comes to the toxic, carcinogenic balls of cholesterol and sex hormones that plop out of the buttholes of birds – AKA, eggs – there is still quite a lot of misinformation (and flat out pseudoscience) being spread around regarding their safety for human consumption.

According to the United States Department of Agriculture:

Eggs are one of the first bandwagons that yo-yo dieting keto-heads jump on, and that’s because eggs are void of carbohydrates, so filling up on them therefore serves to starve the brain of the glucose it needs for producing energy which forces the body to burn fat cells for energy instead. (Until the inevitable carb binge happens, that is, usually in the form of highly processed junk food full of refined sugar.)

Even moderately low consumption of eggs rapidly contributes to cancers of the prostate, rectum, and colon. This is because whatever we take in, we inevitably let out (if you know what I mean.) So with every egg consumed, the carcinogenic properties not only travel to the organs of the upper body and muck up the blood via cellular absorption, they travel to the lower regions as well, and ultimately wreak havoc on the organs that are in fact the least equipped to handle such non-human food. Can you imagine what a lifetime of pooping out chicken periods does to that part of the body? Not an appetizing thought.

Studies continue to show that egg consumption not only propagates various forms of cancer, but it also rapidly increases the risks of heart disease (which is the number one top killer of the human species worldwide), diabetes, and Alzheimer’s. The continuously proven fact is that eggs are not only profoundly dangerous for men, women, and children of all ages, races, blood types, and medical backgrounds, but they are a perfect way to sabotage weight management and obliterate any chance of long term health.

Full to the brim with saturated animal fat, dense with cholesterol and useless fat calories, and riddled with astronomical levels of estrogen, progesterone, and pus cells, it is certainly no mystery why so much of the Western, egg-obsessed world is plagued with breast cancer and “man boobs”. As it turns out, sucking down the rotting menstrual waste of birds is not exactly our best bet to achieving peak fitness (or properly functioning arteries and organs for that matter.)

Regarding eggs and the egg industry, Nutritionfacts.org, a science-based non-profit and member of the True Health Initiative, published the following: By law, according to the USDA, the egg industry “needs to steer clear of words like ‘healthy’ or ‘nutritious'”. For a food to be labeled ‘healthy’ under FDA rules, it has to be low in saturated fat (eggs fail that criteria) and have less than 90mg of cholesterol per serving (even half an egg fails that test.)

Many people will jump to the old, “but humans have always eaten eggs” as a means to validate egg consumption, but such fallacious reasoning unfortunately will not keep people’s hearts beating after a lifetime of abusing their bodies with the foods they choose to eat (even in “moderation” – there’s another common fallacy for you.) Contributor to NPR.org, Bret Stetka, made a pertinent counterpoint to this notion a couple years ago when he wrote, Historically, when humans have sought a reliable source of calories – particularly one that can be readily nabbed from an unsuspecting animal with minimal exertion and zero horticulture skills – we have often turned to eggs. That being said, it isn’t that difficult to come to the realization that eggs are not an important, vital, or necessarily healthy or safe part of the human diet. Just because we had good enough reason to turn to eggs as an option to feed our hungry children when we were faced with famine several hundreds of years in the past does not exactly provide a valid reason for farming birds and continuing to consume their menstrual byproduct, does it?

As a young adult I fell into a habit of drinking a couple raw eggs a few times per week, usually before an intense workout session. Thinking I was doing something beneficial for my body, I would crack the shells and drain the mucus into a glass, pinch my nose, and take a big old shot of gooey chicken menstruation like a man. Little did I know at the time that I would spend a year correcting the hormonal imbalance I was creating inside myself once I began to gather the facts about what I was consuming and stopped.

Food is the simplest and most straightforward, attainable way to achieve lasting good health. It’s also the simplest and most straightforward way to do the opposite, and people have to eat, which is an excruciatingly common excuse people use to remain on pitiful diets. Some species can certainly (and should) eat bird eggs, and some can’t (and shouldn’t.) Some things just aren’t human food, and when it comes to eggs, no one – especially children, who innocently rely on their caregivers to feed them – should be starting their day with such an atrocious product of nature. If you wouldn’t feed your child your own or another person’s menstruation, what justifies feeding them a bird’s?

Most people don’t realize that eggs are pushed out of the same singular hole that the bird urinates and defecates from. So the next time you consider having a “farm fresh” egg, ask yourself if you’re alright with eating a breakfast that someone shat out.


Sources

 

8 comments

      • Haha you are right I didnt mean to find out. I was just trying to search for that one pic I have seen before with an cracked open egg landed on a female underwear before to show how closely an egg resembles female period or discharges but I guess a cluster of underdeveloped eggs with blood vessels all over them worked just as well for my students lol.

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  1. When I was younger I took on board the message that eggs are fowl goo balls. (Pun … didya catch it? … boom boom!)

    Now that I’m watching a guy with the scythe creeping up the hill towards me I delight in still gobbling my eggies—two a day, every morning—and have for the last three decades.
    Yup~! Egg fried in either butter or olive oil, served piping hot on cheese, on toast—twice; almost every (repeat, every) breakfast for over thirty years. Boring? To some, perhaps. Not to me. My permissible variations are omelettes, scramblers, poachers … and such.

    Other than a couple of wisdoms I still have all my teeth, no dental problems; most of my admittedly thinning hair but nothing like baldness, no heart problems, skin like a person decades younger other than the ‘fair wear and tear’ of years).

    I think we need define ‘egg’ a wee bit better, perhaps? When I was in America last I was appalled at the colourless butter (ours is golden) and the anaemic egg yolks. It seems that butter and yolks from healthy nature are both golden, un-dyed … and anaemic is double-plus ungood.

    We could have a wager—if there were some way of doing so without violating the anonymity I treasure: and that wager would be that with all my eggies I’ll outlast both your good self and possibly most of your followers.
    Hubris? Why not … I qualify.

    Tomorrow, cheesey omelette (three eggs) for breakfast. I’m still working on the perfect omelette (the cast iron frypan was a mistake but I had to try~!). I tell you, my omelettes are to die from

    (oops … )

    for~!

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    • I’d say eggs being unfit for human consumption is more of a scientific reality than a “message”;
      I’m curious as to your response to the points I brought up in the piece regarding cholesterol, estrogen, progesterone, saturated animal fat, heart disease, prostate cancer, testicular cancer, colon cancer, manboobs, etc.? These conditions are all heavily and rapidly propagated by dairy and egg consumption, which was the overall point of this piece.

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      • About when I entered my eighth decade I saw (shock horror dismay) that I was developing ‘man boobs’. And what the Maoris call a ‘puku’.

        A wee slowdown on the totally unnecessary bready-type starches fixed both.
        Hell, other than a six k walk every day (that I can fit it in) and usual choresabout the place I don’t get any formal exercise.

        I just weighed myself, 171 pounds. That’s within the 170 plus/or/minus one that I had decades ago in the navy.

        And I lied … I forgot all about the omelette this morning and just had the standard fryers on cheese on toast …

        I gather from your tone that I may have trodden on your foot, for which I apologise. (Dammit, I just love eggies.)

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      • I was not asking about your physical state, I was asking for your response to the fact that eggs and dairy are unhealthy and unsafe for the reasons I mentioned in the post (which I’m assuming you didn’t read) and then reiterated in my last comment. You just keep talking about yourself, is this a joke ? Heart disease is the number one killer, I’d rather not keep paying taxes so fatties can keep making themselves sick and dead with their dietary addictions.

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      • No joke. Do the sums and you’ll find that I’m not fat. I’m challenging the statement that eggs are unhealthy, and lacking academic qualifications am using my own physical state and experiences as object lesson and justification.

        So we differ. That’s fair enough—you have your sciences and all I have is my experience. Does my personal reality outweigh all your eggheads with their slide rules and tomes? Probably not.

        (Eggheads … get it?) (Oh, I slay me …)

        Sadly almost everyone I know agrees with the line you are pushing.

        Even more sadly, I’ve buried and mourned too many of them …

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